THERE’S A SUCKER BORN EVERY MINUTE

There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

David Hannum had it right when referring to P. T. Barnum and his customers and said, “There’s a sucker born every minute.” I saw a piece on television about two women who started a business. They go into the homes of people with babies who do not, will not, sleep through the night. Parents pay them $2000 to come in for one night. And what magic formula do these women have? Okay. Brace yourself. This is groundbreaking. They let the baby cry. You read that right. They let the baby cry. What? Didn’t their parents or pediatrician clue them in on this age old practice? I told this story to my mother. Now my mother is getting senile but even she was flabbergasted by this. After a bit of thought, she said, “But the baby is still going to cry with the women there. So how are the parents going to get any sleep?” I explained the women were not there so the parents could sleep. The women were there because the parents don’t have the testicular fortitude to let their baby cry. But you and I, who have been through this, know this is a process that takes more than one night. It takes more than one night to train a baby that you are not going to come pick them up just because they are awake and bored. So my question is, how many nights does it take to train the parents? Because these are obviously pretty stupid people. That baby will cry the next night. For several nights. Babies are nothing if not persistent. Is the knowledge they have shelled out $2000 enough to keep the parent from going and picking up the baby? But I have a bigger question. In a world so full of suckers, willing to part with their money, why can’t I come up with an idea to get my hands on that money? Let the baby cry. Sheesh.